Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
