I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
