is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
