Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
