Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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