he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
