I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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