they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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