I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
