she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
