Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
