i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
