guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
