there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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