You smell like stripper and shame
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
