dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
