Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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