Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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