yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
