i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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