I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
