And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
