I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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