last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
