he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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