You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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