I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
