Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
