What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
People in love make me want to vomit
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
