he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
