Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
