I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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