So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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