Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
