me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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