Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
