My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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