Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
