i jhust puked up my retainher.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
