told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
