I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You are the jesus of drinking
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
