Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
