I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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