do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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