Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
