he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You ruined the universe
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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