i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He has the fingertips of a God
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
