I'm lost and stupid without you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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