He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
