You can't special order awesome
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
