I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
