My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're too hungover to prance.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
