i can't believe i had my finger in that
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
