Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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