i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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